Saving Time

Mom always had a case on a guy named Pete. No doubt she worried about him more than she did my sisters, my brothers or me. We were constantly reminded that Pete had worth and his was higher than ours, we were even tasked with chores whose sole purpose was to benefit Pete. If you were given a specific job and failed to get it done mom would always ask why it hadn't been completed. She would be angry and we all learned that the reason kids are given duties is specifically for the sake of Pete. There were others whose sake we should be wary of, pity, cripe and goodness, but Pete's was the primary. My father didn't go to church much but I believe he was deeply religious. Whenever he noticed an order hadn't been followed he too would ask why. He, however would invoke the sake of Christ. As children we all learned there were two main reasons you were given chores by adults. First, because they said so, and second, for the sake of someone or something specifically.

I tried to sort out some order as to whose sake was most important. For instance, one time I got a drum for Christmas. I was playing it in the kitchen where my mother said, "Go do that in the living room for Pete's sake." Not wanting to jeopardize Pete, I headed to the living room where my father said, "Take that in the kitchen for God's sake." I told you he was religious. I figured the Lord trumps Pete so immediately went back to the kitchen. Mom demanded to know why in heaven's name I was back. I told her, "Precisely." She ordered me back to the living room and instructed me to tell anyone who questioned why I was there, was because she said so. Dad threw me a curve ball. He looked up and exclaimed, "What the hell?" It was all about Heaven or Hell with him. I told him mom said so and he said something that confuses me to this day. He picked up his paper, walked outside muttering, "I'll be damned."

I panicked a little, ran back to the kitchen, and explained to Mom that her actions had condemned my father to an eternity of fire and brimstone. She didn't look up but shook her head, rolled her eyes and said, "For crying out loud." She didn't appear to be the least bit concerned about Dad so I guess that phrase offers absolution.

I asked my son to mow the lawn the other day and in order to spare him the confusion I endured growing up, explained at length why he needed to do that task. I was eloquent in my speech but he interrupted me after about ten minutes, rolled his eyes as he headed out the door and said, "Why don't you just say because I said so?"

Driving tip: If you're pulling a trailer at a steady speed and it sways, you need to cautiously pull over and check the tire pressure in the tow vehicle and trailer. If it pulls fine but sways when you are going downhill or decelerating, the thing is trying to pass you. This is not good. The tow vehicle is not big (heavy) enough to safely pull that trailer. If you find yourself in this predicament you need to stay in front of that trailer. Do not brake hard. Get back on the gas just enough to get ahead of it (straighten out). Then slow down gently. Reload the trailer and tow vehicle or get a bigger rig. When a trailer is heavier than (and trying to pass) the tow vehicle and the driver slams on the brakes, the trailer will choose a side and go on around. (Really hard on paint.)