Painting

It was early morning and she looked stunning as she disappeared behind the bathroom door. The little six year old started to follow but was pulled aside by the old man. The child looked up, confusion drawn on his innocent face. The old man simply nodded, put his hand on the boy's shoulder and waited. Soon the woman's humming stopped. The old man's features became wary and he squeezed the boy's shoulder. A sudden small scream came from the bathroom. The old man looked at the boy and exclaimed, "Old razor." The sound of the blow dryer began loud and clear. A sudden snap, a faulting of the dryer and a "What the he.." The man explained to the boy that he had done a repair on her dryer and somehow lost a screw, "It sounds like she found it." A few minutes later the woman hooted loudly. The child looked up to hear. "Curling irons can get pretty hot sometimes."

Minutes ticked by and the humming resumed if only momentarily. A painful, "Ouch" followed by a second and then a third. "Tweezers" muttered the man, "Eyebrows." The frustrated sound, "It's like a fight." came through the door. The all-knowing mentor said, "Old mascara." An exasperated, "Oooooh." "Eye poke" said the man. A few seconds of silence leading to an, "OH MY GOSH!" The young boy was counseled to never look at the roots of a woman's hair and if you do, keep your mouth shut. The sound of a sliding chair was followed by a, "How did this shirt get so wrinkled?" The man pulled the boy back a few steps and the door opened.

It was early morning and she looked stunning as she appeared from behind the bathroom door. She headed for the laundry room saying something about ironing her shirt.

The boy asked, "Why would she put herself through all that?" The answer was, "To make herself beautiful for us."

"But she was already beautiful."

"That, my boy, is the one thing men know that women don't."

"If we tell her will she stop hurting herself like that?"

"We as men need to tell her and often, but no she won't ever stop. I think it's something they learn on a place called Venus."

"Are all women from Venus?"

"That's what they say."

"Where do men come from?"

"I'm not sure but I think it's probably Sears or Home Depot, isn't that the shirt you had on yesterday?"

Driving tip: If you listen to man verses woman go down the road in a vehicle you'll notice a woman's car sound is steady, a man's car is constantly changing from loud to quiet and back. Women tend to hold their foot steady, a man accelerates, slows down and then accelerates again. Women tend to get better mileage than men, that's a fact. Cruise control will do two things. First, say you set it at sixty five MPH. You will maintain that speed and get better mileage. Second, if mileage isn't a concern then, in an attention on your part, it will make sure you don't go under sixty five.