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Traffic was heavy on D day or should I say T day? I managed to cut off this idiot in this little yellow car with one green fender and we got in the fast lane. We made it about a mile before we caught the 007 drivers. You know the ones, they have the little lapel microphones and invisible ear pieces. "Hey, that guy headed to the concert is passing on my left." says the guy in the brown truck.
"Got him." says the guy in the SUV. This SUV cuts me off and I lose about ten miles an hour. There is a break in the middle lane and I grab it. The SUV dude calls the guy in the semi and he practically runs over a V.W. just to get in front of me. I've dealt with these guys before, I know how to handle them and in just under an hour we made the thirteen mile trip from home to the theater.
I parked in Lot Z and Danny and I began the mile long trek to the venue. She pointed out some kids leaning against some poor guy's car when we got to the second row in parking lot A, I would have straightened those dudes out but the car was this little yellow thing with a green fender and I spaced out at the amazement that there were two of them, the one I passed two hours ago and now this one. Go figure.
We got our seats, I sat down but Danny stayed standing up, she's young and not too sophisticated about concerts. "Hey kiddo, you should sit and save your legs." She didn't get it.
When the band began their intro I jumped up like a rocket. I was able to see the drummer and a little bit of the side of the bass player's head before everybody else stood up. The guy in front of me was tall and had this stupid ear ring. I was pretty amused. When things got quiet I explained to my daughter that most people's legs will give out eventually, they'll sit down and if she had saved hers like I did she might actually get to see Tom, himself.
The Heartbreakers started playing, Tom Petty started singing and it was awesome. I stood there looking at that guy's ear ring and just floating on a cloud of sheer happiness. Danny was dancing around and by the fifth song the dude in front of me sat down. I smiled, elbowed Danny and pointed. She was beginning to see that maybe I knew a few things about concerts.
The lady in front of him had this huge hairdo but some of it was sticking straight out the back of her head. That cracked me up, way better than looking at that ear ring. I figured that as soon as thirty six more people sat down I was going to get an open view of the stage. I hoped Tom wasn't on the left side. Hundreds of people would have had to collapse before I'd be able to see that.
Now, for the bragging part. They had done their encore and everyone was leaving. Danny and I were walking on the seats, passing hundreds of idiots that shuffled along in the walking area, when....just for a second, the curtain got pushed open and I saw what I was sure was Tom Petty's elbow. Eat your heart out.
Carol doesn't go to too many concerts these days but wait till she finds out I got tickets for Bob Segar. Row 37, right behind the stage. They're behind the speakers but if Bob should climb up on one I'll get to see the back of his head clear as a bell. Good times.
Driving tip: If someone is coming toward you and won't dim their lights. Don't get aggressive. If you get mad and leave yours on bright all that will happen is there will be two blind drivers on the road. Find a safe place to turn around, quietly follow the guy until he stops. If he is smaller than you, beat the crap out of him. Or...calm down, shake your head and go on down the highway. Remember, you are going to see your family when the trip is over. You are you and that poor idiot is him. Be sure and remind all your loved ones how lucky they are to have a safe and competent driver such as yourself in the fold.
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