Stereotypes

Longevity in marriage is based on mutual compatibility. My mom liked to have things done for her and my dad liked doing things for her. My grandmother wanted a good provider, granddad was ambitious and successful. Carol and I vowed til death do us part. She prefers a man who is strong, handsome and a good worker. She's got a lot going for her and I imagine if I ever get hit by a bus, she has a good chance of snagging one.

Stereotypes, that's what it's all about. Strong, beautiful, intelligent women have one goal afforded them by society, to snag a good man. Men have expectations placed on them as well. I can't think of one right now but I'm sure there are some. In the master plan that might not seem fair but let me tell you, it's tough being that strong, handsome, good worker my wife wants. My nine year old belted me in the stomach one time and then said, "I'd way rather punch you than Joe". Joe being his big brother who was home on leave from the Army. Feeling my oats a little I asked him why. He honestly said, "It doesn't hurt when I punch you." Now I had to pretend that I could still breathe and somehow remain conscious while I laughed. That little Satan, I mean Nathan, could really hit for a nine year old. So much for strong.

Handsome however, handsome is a different story. My mom told me I was handsome when I was just little. One time in high school I accidently forgot to attend classes for several days. The Dean of Boys, obviously in an attempt to make people think he was a good worker, called me on the carpet. He sat at his desk, turned toward me and said, "It makes me sick to look at you." I looked him right in the eye and retorted, "You calling my mom a liar?"

As far as being a good worker goes I don't think I need to tell you how hard it is to make other people think that you actually have worth. If you can pull that off, especially if you're me, I'd say you're a pretty good worker and as soon as I finish this post I'm going to get something done. Well, I might take a break but lets face it...Society certainly doesn't expect me to snag a good man so I've already accomplished everything I need to. I know me and I know men, Carol's chances of ever snagging a strong, handsome, good worker are actually pretty nil. Maybe I'll keep an eye out for that sneaky bus that's looking for me.

Whether or not the master plan is fair I think depends entirely on your perspective, and a little on your gender.

Driving tip: If you're ever driving in a snow storm and your defrosters won't keep up, the ice is building on your windshield and you can't see, pull over somewhere safe. Chances are good that if you turn off your heater, roll down your windows and get that windshield cold an amazing thing will happen. You scrape off the windshield, move your heater control to floor, roll down your door window just a little to let out the excess heat and go. Your windshield is now cold enough that the snow doesn't melt when it hits, it just blows off. You are able to travel comfortably and your windshield is crystal clear. Be careful of other drivers who don't know this trick. They can't see and just might be a hazard.