Sport Stuff Again

Everyone, it seems, is involved in some fantasy sport or another. I, too, have fallen prey to the seduction of sitting on my butt, drafting players, and seeing how well my team stacks up against the opposition. The last few weeks haven't been good. One of my stars is down with an injury, a second was penalized and has to sit out three games and some of them, it seems, are playing with less than perfect equipment.

This week I am supposed to play my daughter. No easy task on a good day, but when I fired up my computer and logged on to Ultimate Fantasy Sport dot Org dot com I was stunned to find my highest scoring player is on a bye. I don't have to tell you how bad it sucks when the little girl you used to trounce at practically all sports suddenly turns seven and can take you in almost any physical activity. Fantasy was my salvation. I kill at fantasy. Even if I lose I can fantasize I win. What a great concept!

Anybody that indulges will sympathize when they find out my seeker is not scheduled to play due to a bye. The really awful part is that in Quidditch a bye can last for months. What a drag! (Sorry, showing my age) I mean what a bummer! So here I am, my seeker is on a bye, my best chaser is injured and his cohorts couldn't tell a bludger from a snitch. One of my beaters turned a ref into a toad and got a three game penalty and my quaffle turned green.

There is no questioning my superior intelligence when it comes to sports and this fantasy match-up shouldn't be such a big deal. I mean really, when you think about it, fantasy is foolish. Hogwarts are hogwash, Dallas are dumbells, Steelers are stupid, Niners are ninnies, Green Bay is slow way and the Yankess got their butts kicked and the Rangers are going to the super bowl. Go Mark Cuban!

Driving tip:  Dogs are people too. They have pet seat-belts available these days. Author Stephen King was struck by a car while walking on the shoulder of a road. The driver was distracted by his dog who was trying to get into a cooler and steal treats. A pet seatbelt will not only protect your beloved animal in an accident, it might even keep you from running over Stephen King. That's kind of important.