My Lot In Life

The alarm goes off at 4:00 but you don't really need it because you're a dairy farmer. Your body knows it's time to bang on the shed walls and wake up the cows. They, like you, don't need the morning ritual but that's how it is. They head down to the barn and milk shed where they get a treat of oats while being milked. After 107 of them go through the process they wander happily back to the field while you fire up the tractor, load fifteen 80 pound bails of hay on the trailer, and feed the sons of b...I mean daughters of... black and white Holsteins. You know you have to shovel up what they just left on the floor of the barn and with that to look forward to you head on down to get yourself some breakfast. They don't have to be milked again for twelve hours so there will be plenty of time to shovel the barn, feed the calves and tend to that sick heifer before you cut and bail hay this afternoon.

Your wife, on the other hand, just lazes in bed till 5. Then after getting breakfast for you and those three sons of b.. two sons, and one daughter of...Bill and Betty, she gets to escape the hell-hole and go to work. Her job is easy, she's a waitress, or a nurse, or a secretary, or a manager, or a police officer, or a teacher, or a City official or whatever it is she does. She thinks she's the one who has it rough. You're stuck out on the ranch all alone. She gets to see and hear other people all day. Bosses, customers, kids, co-workers...All you see and hear are cows, birds, frogs, wind in trees, a dog bark, the creek constantly babbling. Yep, she sure needs to re-think how things really are.

 

Driving tip: Next time a big truck cuts you off in traffic, instead of thinking sinister thoughts about all truck drivers, think about how many trucks didn't cut you off. I guess it's human nature but when a car gets out of line you despise that guy. When a truck does it, you tend to hate everybody in that industry. I get that, it's called ad hominum. For instance, if a politician is evil and corrupt that doesn't mean all politicians are evi....never mind, bad example. But if you work on your own attitude a little you will be calmer and much more able to deal with unexpected situations in traffic. Like say when that son of a Bill and Betty swerves his bull rack and cow pee spills all over your car. With a good attitude you can concentrate on how to get out of the skid and not on how to kill Bill.