Inspiration

I just saw a commercial where you can give these guys a hundred bucks and they can take pictures of you and super impose them on other pictures. All of a sudden you can have a picture of yourself hanging ten over the tip of a surfboard while riding a twenty foot wave, leaning over the neck of a thoroughbred as it glides over a six foot fence or be sitting behind the wheel of a car as it does a four wheel drift around a hairpin corner at a hundred and ten miles an hour. I got pretty excited, I mean for 100 bucks I could make my life look interesting. My friends would be so jealous.

I thought about some of that for awhile then got all pragmatic. If I really wanted to impress people who know the real me, I could maybe show them a picture of me opening up a letter containing my credit score. They would gaze at it and see me smiling at the giant 675 and they'd sigh and dream of one day becoming a financial guru such as myself. In reality, the last time I requested a credit score all I got for my trouble was a bunch of bills from people who were really grateful I finally disclosed my new address to someone in the finance industry. You can't trust those credit score people.

The fact is, with my financial credibility, we, as a nation can be grateful I didn't effect history in a more substantial way. For instance,  it's lucky I didn't bet on Seabiscuit. If I had, there is no way he would be a legendary racehorse today. He'd  be pulling a coal wagon. Can you imagine how sad that would be? A seventy seven year old horse pulling a coal wagon? I'm serious, he would have lost. He would not have inspired us to raise above the great depression. We would still be all depressed, I know I am, and we'd all be out walking the tracks gathering spilled coal to try to sell for enough change to buy a Dr. Pepper.

So here lies the hope. If you are currently unemployed, rent that Sea Biscuit movie or better still, borrow it. Take heart in knowing I did not bet on that horse, we did rise up and will again. For your sake, I will take the money I would ordinarily bet on whatever new inspiration comes our way and maybe send it to one of my creditors. They can rejoice with my five bucks and things will get better. Remember, when things begin looking up....you owe me big. You're welcome.

Driving tip: It rained last night, then it got cold. Your door locks are now frozen and you can't get in your car. Do not try and force the key. It will break off in the door, trust me on that. You can heat the key with a lighter, stick it in the door, re-heat it and keep repeating the process till after the outside temperature gets above freezing for three hours and, your door will open. Or, buy a can of fuel line antifreeze, pour it on your key and try it. After a few applications that should work. If you are handy to an electrical source and you have, or know a person who will loan you, a hair drier, turn that baby on high and aim it at your door lock area for a few seconds... voile. (It also works great for frozen pipes but tell your buds your using your heat-gun. They will be all jealous and wish they were a real man like you who owned his own heat-gun.)